![Picture](/uploads/2/4/5/6/24563622/6697487.jpg)
So I just watched this video by Justin Cox. Can I say that I loved his message!?
I loved it because he spoke about why we as people shouldn't have such high standards. Now this video was dear to me because as a few may know I have a journal and within my last 2 or 3 journals I wrote about what I'd like in my husband. Front and back. Yes I did! On the top of the pg I said Dear God too. Now when I was dating someone I was friends with at first, I realized man I had some shallow thoughts of him. There's like 3 top things I look for in guys and no I will not share and don't ask. After loving the person for who he was, all of my shallow thoughts of him faded. Why? how? you may ask. It was because I just loved him for him, flaw and all. In reality there are some things you can't change so you gotta face that. Then there were things I was like dang he has this type of way too but then I realized hey if I was his wife that's something I could help him with. What I learned some time ago, is that in marriage it's not about just sex, it's about being someone's help mate. It's about helping your partner better themselves from the whole being they already are. Peep that I said whole meaning y'all shouldn't go around talking about he/she is my other half....-_-
He never expressed what flaw I had unless it was me spiritually, and I appreciated that knowing that I have a lazy eye which tends to wander at times lol There were also things that he didn't fulfill and that was okay because he's NOT PERFECT, didn't expect him to be, don't expect my future husband to be either but there are some things in which he had to be and my future to be must be/have.
Now don't get me wrong I don't believe that you shouldn't have standards for yourself. Everyone should know what they want and wish for the best for themselves. Ex: If you want a guy who is responsible and can take care of you financially, that's reasonable and understandable. Keep that standard because Lord knows if a guy is not stepping up to his responsibility as a man and he's feeding off of you, that is a no go unless as a woman you're about that life....(not many are) What will be unreasonable is if you're wishing he's a billionaire who can take care of you, yo momma, your aunties, your uncles, your cousins and 'em. Now although that is not impossible, to be waiting on that man and only him while you're living reminds me of that skeleton picture ->
Just be real about it yes, find someone who wants to be that person in you're life, who wants to take care for you, maybe even take care of all your bills but as for the rest, hun leave it to Jesus and let him take care the rest of your family.
Fellas let's be real too, (ehem) not every girl you meet may know how to cook, or may have your preferred hair type, or preferred breast or buttock size but if you can love her from the inside then man you're the bomb! Cuz the young lady you may end up meeting may have the flattest behind of them ALL, BUT her cooking is to die for and kill for if any guy has jokes about her rear end size. Now ladies and fellas I know some of you may for a second just think ratchet, thinking "well I'll take the memo for Burger King and have it my way by having as many girls/guys who fulfill the entire dream mate." BUT honestly that will never really fulfill you because you've never taken time to love someone and them love you, and for the two of you to build on that love to possibly something AMAZING! So remember the phrase "You can't have your cake and eat it too" :p
Now right now I'm getting a little personal and this is where I give Justin the "snap snap...YES" for. He mentioned marriages not being perfect, about partners seeming perfect in the beginning and he mentioned someone thinking man she's gon be perfect she's not gon yell and she gonna just be cooking etc etc, without realizing that people/relationships are like seasons. See in the beginning everyone comes off as damn near perfect. They can't do no wrong, if you could marry them you would right on the spot! Then you start to see a little of them with flaws and you're like hmmm! Then things start getting rocky and you're like oh Hec no I'm about to be out. Then she or he starts to wonder if you ever loved them in the first place. Am I right? Yep we've all been there. Now here where it hits for me. I was once there, seeing this man and I'm like man he's damn near perfect. Then I seen flaws and I became shallow. (True love/ true self acknowledges shallow areas of oneself and changes) Then things get rocky and it's like well dang do you really love me like you said you did because if you did you wouldn't be so easy to dish me. Then it gets all weird.
Here where it hits again. Through all of that and going up and down like a roller coaster you learn that you really love the person enough to go through the same 'ol issues, maybe worse to the point you feel like a fool who has easily and freely erased your past because love made you do it. What kind of love is this, you ask. Not quite sure to be honest but I started to think maybe I was trying to love him flaws and all like God did that even though I was hurt by him it all didn't matter because at the end of the day love still resided deep down.
But to be honest even though I went through the ups and downs I learned a lot. I learned about God, learned myself, learned him, and most importantly learned how much I was willing to deal with because at the end of the day my name is Imani not Jesus and although I'm a follower of him I'm yet fragile, and as a young woman with my calibre I shouldn't have to deal with all those things because I'm well deserving of something better, of someone who no matter where I am in life, I should be loved for me flaws and all, experienced or not.
And so with that being said I love Justin's video and it's mainly because it was deep, real and utterly truthful.
I learned that if you do find someone that you love and can truthfully see yourself marrying, you gotta learn how to deal with everything and see yourself and where you lack too. If you're willing to work with the flaws and mishaps then you guys should be fine BUT one shouldn't be pushing all the work because it takes 2! Also one should not be settling for someone who will say they love you and cheat or/and beat on you numerous times, now that my friend don't make no sense.
I'll leave with this: Love like Jesus (loving and accepting everyone with a past, with flaws and all) But be guarded a bit, love in wisdom, love in truth, be you, accept you, know you, and be patient as you learn the ins and out of your mate. And if you're married stay in that thing for the long haul and remember the vows. Most importantly pray. If you married pray, if you're dating pray, (daters) pray asking God to reveal if that person is someone you should be involved with and if you get an answer pray that God will show you how to love him/her. (married?) I'm not there yet but pray that your love will stir up again and that he will show you your faults because while you'e looking at your mate thinking how different they used to be I'm pretty sure there's some changes in you too. Just pray for each other. Scratch their back and they'll scratch yours.
Peace and love!
God bless, hope this encourages someone...
I loved it because he spoke about why we as people shouldn't have such high standards. Now this video was dear to me because as a few may know I have a journal and within my last 2 or 3 journals I wrote about what I'd like in my husband. Front and back. Yes I did! On the top of the pg I said Dear God too. Now when I was dating someone I was friends with at first, I realized man I had some shallow thoughts of him. There's like 3 top things I look for in guys and no I will not share and don't ask. After loving the person for who he was, all of my shallow thoughts of him faded. Why? how? you may ask. It was because I just loved him for him, flaw and all. In reality there are some things you can't change so you gotta face that. Then there were things I was like dang he has this type of way too but then I realized hey if I was his wife that's something I could help him with. What I learned some time ago, is that in marriage it's not about just sex, it's about being someone's help mate. It's about helping your partner better themselves from the whole being they already are. Peep that I said whole meaning y'all shouldn't go around talking about he/she is my other half....-_-
He never expressed what flaw I had unless it was me spiritually, and I appreciated that knowing that I have a lazy eye which tends to wander at times lol There were also things that he didn't fulfill and that was okay because he's NOT PERFECT, didn't expect him to be, don't expect my future husband to be either but there are some things in which he had to be and my future to be must be/have.
Now don't get me wrong I don't believe that you shouldn't have standards for yourself. Everyone should know what they want and wish for the best for themselves. Ex: If you want a guy who is responsible and can take care of you financially, that's reasonable and understandable. Keep that standard because Lord knows if a guy is not stepping up to his responsibility as a man and he's feeding off of you, that is a no go unless as a woman you're about that life....(not many are) What will be unreasonable is if you're wishing he's a billionaire who can take care of you, yo momma, your aunties, your uncles, your cousins and 'em. Now although that is not impossible, to be waiting on that man and only him while you're living reminds me of that skeleton picture ->
Just be real about it yes, find someone who wants to be that person in you're life, who wants to take care for you, maybe even take care of all your bills but as for the rest, hun leave it to Jesus and let him take care the rest of your family.
Fellas let's be real too, (ehem) not every girl you meet may know how to cook, or may have your preferred hair type, or preferred breast or buttock size but if you can love her from the inside then man you're the bomb! Cuz the young lady you may end up meeting may have the flattest behind of them ALL, BUT her cooking is to die for and kill for if any guy has jokes about her rear end size. Now ladies and fellas I know some of you may for a second just think ratchet, thinking "well I'll take the memo for Burger King and have it my way by having as many girls/guys who fulfill the entire dream mate." BUT honestly that will never really fulfill you because you've never taken time to love someone and them love you, and for the two of you to build on that love to possibly something AMAZING! So remember the phrase "You can't have your cake and eat it too" :p
Now right now I'm getting a little personal and this is where I give Justin the "snap snap...YES" for. He mentioned marriages not being perfect, about partners seeming perfect in the beginning and he mentioned someone thinking man she's gon be perfect she's not gon yell and she gonna just be cooking etc etc, without realizing that people/relationships are like seasons. See in the beginning everyone comes off as damn near perfect. They can't do no wrong, if you could marry them you would right on the spot! Then you start to see a little of them with flaws and you're like hmmm! Then things start getting rocky and you're like oh Hec no I'm about to be out. Then she or he starts to wonder if you ever loved them in the first place. Am I right? Yep we've all been there. Now here where it hits for me. I was once there, seeing this man and I'm like man he's damn near perfect. Then I seen flaws and I became shallow. (True love/ true self acknowledges shallow areas of oneself and changes) Then things get rocky and it's like well dang do you really love me like you said you did because if you did you wouldn't be so easy to dish me. Then it gets all weird.
Here where it hits again. Through all of that and going up and down like a roller coaster you learn that you really love the person enough to go through the same 'ol issues, maybe worse to the point you feel like a fool who has easily and freely erased your past because love made you do it. What kind of love is this, you ask. Not quite sure to be honest but I started to think maybe I was trying to love him flaws and all like God did that even though I was hurt by him it all didn't matter because at the end of the day love still resided deep down.
But to be honest even though I went through the ups and downs I learned a lot. I learned about God, learned myself, learned him, and most importantly learned how much I was willing to deal with because at the end of the day my name is Imani not Jesus and although I'm a follower of him I'm yet fragile, and as a young woman with my calibre I shouldn't have to deal with all those things because I'm well deserving of something better, of someone who no matter where I am in life, I should be loved for me flaws and all, experienced or not.
And so with that being said I love Justin's video and it's mainly because it was deep, real and utterly truthful.
I learned that if you do find someone that you love and can truthfully see yourself marrying, you gotta learn how to deal with everything and see yourself and where you lack too. If you're willing to work with the flaws and mishaps then you guys should be fine BUT one shouldn't be pushing all the work because it takes 2! Also one should not be settling for someone who will say they love you and cheat or/and beat on you numerous times, now that my friend don't make no sense.
I'll leave with this: Love like Jesus (loving and accepting everyone with a past, with flaws and all) But be guarded a bit, love in wisdom, love in truth, be you, accept you, know you, and be patient as you learn the ins and out of your mate. And if you're married stay in that thing for the long haul and remember the vows. Most importantly pray. If you married pray, if you're dating pray, (daters) pray asking God to reveal if that person is someone you should be involved with and if you get an answer pray that God will show you how to love him/her. (married?) I'm not there yet but pray that your love will stir up again and that he will show you your faults because while you'e looking at your mate thinking how different they used to be I'm pretty sure there's some changes in you too. Just pray for each other. Scratch their back and they'll scratch yours.
Peace and love!
God bless, hope this encourages someone...